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Is trouble brewing in Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan’s paradise? While gossip mills have been doing the rounds for quite some time, speculating on the state of their marriage, AB Jr’s recent social media action added fuel to the fire. Abhishek Bachchan has now ‘liked’ a post on Instagram about ‘Grey Divorce’ and this has led fans to conjure not all’s well in the couple’s lives. But this has also piqued curiosity as to what a grey divorce is all about and how societal changes are egging couples to separate even decades after marriage.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a psychologist and marriage counsellor, shares her insights with Zee News Digital on the trend.
What Is ‘Grey Divorce’?
Sadhoo explains that grey divorce refers to the phenomenon where couples who are aged 50 and older decide to divorce. “This term highlights the age of the individuals, mostly marked by grey hair. The incidence of grey divorce has been on the rise in recent years,” says Sadhoo.
The marriage counsellor points out that these divorces present unique challenges, including the division of retirement assets, healthcare concerns, and the emotional effect on adult children. “Also, couples may face lifestyle adjustments, such as changes in living arrangements and financial stability, which can be more complex for older adults,” says Sadhoo.
What Leads To People Separating After Decades Of Marriage?
Talking about the causes and implications of grey divorce, Sadhoo shares, “Everything we do has certain causes and outcomes later on, grey divorce too has its own causes and possible implications.” She lists some of the possible causes of ‘grey divorce’:
Empty Nest Syndrome: After children leave home, couples might realise they no longer have shared interests or goals, prompting them to reevaluate their relationship.
Retirement: The transition to retirement might disrupt the balance of a marriage, as couples spend more time together and might face differences in how they want to spend their retirement years.
Increased Life Expectancy: With people living longer, couples might find themselves growing apart over time and seek personal fulfilment in new ways.
Financial Independence: More women today have their own careers and financial resources, providing them the means to leave an unsatisfactory marriage.
Changing Social Attitudes: Society is more accepting of divorce now, decreasing the stigma and making it easier for older adults to consider this option.
Also Read: When Love Is Not Enough: 4 Signs That You Are In A Toxic Relationship
Possible Implications Of Grey Divorce
When you decide to separate in the later years of life, the decision can bring with it its own set of challenges and things that you need to consider. Sadhoo lists the following points that you should consider:
Financial Impact: Dividing assets, specifically retirement funds, could be complex and may impact the financial security of both parties. Alimony and spousal support are also considerations.
Healthcare: Older adults possibly have greater healthcare needs, and divorce can complicate insurance coverage and the division of healthcare responsibilities.
Emotional Impact: Divorce at any age is emotionally troublesome, but it can be specifically hard for older adults who might have been together for decades. The effect on adult children, who may feel a sense of family stability is lost, is also significant.
Social Changes: Divorce could lead to changes in social circles, as friends and family may take sides or feel awkward around the newly single individuals. This could lead to loneliness and a need to build new social networks.
Lifestyle Adjustments: Alterations in living arrangements, like moving out of the family home, can be stressful and require significant adjustment. This is often compounded by the need to manage a single life in older age.
Legal Considerations: Legal aspects, like updating wills, powers of attorney, and beneficiary designations, become critical post-divorce to make sure that one’s wishes are respected and that assets are protected.
Evolving Social Attidue And Expectations
In Indian society, the view of ‘grey divorce’ has been evolving over the past 10-14 years. “Traditionally, divorce at any age was stigmatized, in India and older couples were expected to remain together irrespective of personal dissatisfaction. However, there has been a notable shift as many individuals in their 50s and older seek personal fulfilment and independence,” Sadhoo says. She adds, ” This change is influenced by heightened financial independence, particularly, among women, and a growing acceptance of individual choices and mental well-being. Media portrayal of personal freedom and legal reforms supporting women’s rights have also majorly contributed to this trend. While societal pressure remains, the increasing visibility and acceptance of grey divorce shows a broader shift towards recognising the importance of personal happiness and autonomy, even in the later stages of life.”
‘Seek Counselling, Be Empathetic’
Divorce, at any age, is not easy and if there’s a chance to rebuild a relationship, an honest effort can be made, say counsellors. “As a couples’ therapist, I would suggest trying to communicate openly, seeking counselling if needed, and prioritising mutual respect and understanding to navigate marital challenges effectively. It’s important that as a couple you try to focus on shared interests. Maintaining a supportive, empathetic relationship could help strengthen the bond and address underlying issues,” Sadhoo explains.
Instagram Post That Sent Tongues Wagging
Check out the Instagram post that Abhishek had liked:
As the counsellor points out, no divorce, at whichever age, is easy and handling a situation with sensitivity remains the need of the hour.
